your love is such a tease

dizzy has such excellent lyrics. i toyed with using other lyrical gems for the title, such as "you're monochrome delirious", "i'm drowning in your vanity", "your laugh is a disease". ooo thanks for letting me use your picture vera! girl's got the coolest earrings collection EVER. this photo brings back memories. reminds me of the general wine-fuelled atmosphere of castelfranc, the sound of summer 2008 (MGMT and noah and the whale on repeat), the epic table-tennis tournament, multiple cardgasms (and trying to learn complicated russian card games and failing), swimming in the lake, the SIZZLINGLY hot day we went into albi and touristed it up at the huge cathedral...


not much has happened since the last update to be honest. i just totally skipped shrove tuesday, i.e day devoted to pancakes (i cheated on them with krispy kremes instead :P). exam week passed by in a blur, with some horrors thrown in such as a last-minute discovery that my hart exams (visual analysis and themes in western art) had been combined and the general nightmare of both latin papers. just glad that it's over...trying to force myself to recognise that they were JUST MOCKS, but my school takes exams so seriously it's hard to relax...

last night i went to see hofesh schechter (hard to get your tongue round, that one) - a modern dance company at camden roundhouse. it was pretty good, with a voice that sounded JUST like the mighty boosh's the moon doing a trippy voiceover about the cosmos and how we're all tiny particles (existentialist BS), but i could hardly see for the first half, the crowds being gigantic and me being a wee lass. my, that was a long sentence. eleanor, iona, katy and i went to get ice cream at marine ices afterwards....just what i needed after a difficult, exam-packed week. eleanor got hazelnut, iona got honey & ginger, katy got melon and i got black cherry yoghurt...mmmm...

meanwhile, i've been rediscovering my inner child gaming freak.

PoKéMoN! (you've got to spell it like that). awww yeahh. it kind of scares me that it's been nearly a decade since i last played this on my gameboy colour (using an emulator now). i'm a GOD at it now, it's easy as 1-2-3 with the help of my pokédex, which i dug out of my bookshelf ;)

tonight katy, erry, dom and i are going to have another horror movie night round at dom's :) wondering what film to pick...i want a thriller that'll make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. meanwhile, katy is torn between something highly zombie-oriented, a shootout or a sadistic film, saw-style. or TEETH.

i'll be quaking behind a pillow tonight slash squinting at the screen through my fingers. that's right, i'm a HUGE scaredy cat. there. i said it. going to run away now *blushes* <3

i think about you maybe more than i should

dear god i need relaxing songs like this one injected into my mind right now

tomorrow exams start, and my stress level has almost reached breaking point. and i'm tired :( fell asleep on my bed earlier, covered in notes. i guess i do it to myself.

tomorrow i start with english lit, which is nice enough. (though there's also a coursework due in which i'm madly trying to finish. an essay on transcendental love in wuthering heights. i'm supposed to drag a bit of jane eyre in too, which i haven't read since i was 11. i am screwed. wondering why exactly i'm on here rather than getting down to it...) then i've got my french oral. je vais parler de santé et la forme, which is ironique because i hardly do any sport (apart from a fleeting bike ride out in the sun yesterday) and my diet sucks. my dear mama made cookies and cakes over the weekend, with which i have been stuffing my little face. c'est la fin des haricots. i.e it's the end of the greenbeans. i.e i'm done for.

i think i'm going to go have a STEAMING shower to make myself feel better, eat a few more cookies (and GO ON some ice cream while i'm at it) cram for a couple of hours, then sleep. my level of willpower is pathetically low.

j'en ai ras-le-bol. i.e my bowl is overflowing. i.e i've had enough. i.e QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMUGH

<3

wave goodbye to the butterfly

we're not going to go into the SOTD today (although i found a cool new angly brushstroke) because i've decided to do a pretty pictorial post instead. oh, and CHECK OUT my plosive alliteration!

lately, my mother's gone a little crazy buying jewellery.
she was ADDICTED to ebay last month, i'm not even kidding - she was glued to the laptop all night, sometimes staying up til 4 am to make sure she won her bids...and every weekend was a market weekend. (yep, she was at portobello today as well)

the end result? a bedroom FULL of trinkets and gewgaws...

what you see above is only the BEGINNINGS of her collection. (and yes, those ARE clementines you see above - my favourite fruit. today's clementine count is at 7 and rising...)

anyway. it's ridiculous. she spends all her spare time nowadays getting thrills out of fixing necklaces and the like with surgical instruments (she's a doctor :S).


today i helped her make this...

that's really not bad for 10p, is it? i was proud anyway, seeing as i'm not exactly supremely gifted with my hands.

i made myself a chorizo omelette today and ate it with buttery toast. ANOTHER mission (i thought impossible) accomplished. i love food. suck at cooking. this is only rung one on the culinary ladder, but i am GOING TO GET THERE SOMEDAY.

although...i only cooked the omelette because we'd run out of cereal :'( but shhh that's not the point. i need activities to distract myself, since everyone's out at synergy tonight *cries* i stayed in telling myself i NEEDED to work but i've just found myself on questionable content instead. 576 comics to read 'til i get to the latest post. so it is productive, sort of.

comichopping here i come <3

it's a supernatural delight

what a song

mehh got a bit too excited with the brushstroke. and this photo's probably more a dancing in the streetlight kinda picture, but C'EST LA VIE

today...
i was dragged out of the house for the first time in three days to view cinematic fluff (confessions of a shopaholic) with my sister *sighs heavily* i remember reading through the whole shopaholic series aged fourteen on a trip to thailand, because i was so sunburnt i couldn't lift my arms up and hence couldn't leave the little shacky thing we were staying in. so i read and read and read instead - mostly holiday trash; loads of dan brown, the shopaholic books, shanghai baby, the beach...

leaving the house today wasn't all bad though because there was a waterstone's opposite the cinema, meaning i finally managed to get my filthy paws on BRAVE NEW WORLD! yeahhh. i also bought a mini french dictionary, because i realised we didn't have one in the house and i needed it for french oral prep. and also, not having a french dictionary's an OUTRAGE. nuff said.

back to my other purchase. as i turned the first page i realised that i'd found myself tangled up in a polygamous literelationship! (hah..what's new?) currently i am reading brave new world, why i write, nausea and l'étranger. why does that make me feel bad? irrational guilt about cheating on books with other books i guess...

in other news i'm kind of annoyed because i wanted to go to kensal green cemetery tonight for daniel's art project. morbid, but i can't lie, i've always wanted to check out a cemetery. anyway, i tried to argue with my parents into letting me go but my motion was denied. makes me think of m83's graveyard girl...i might go tomorrow, but according to daniel it has to be dark (alarm bells screaming POTENTIAL RAPE ALERT should be going off in my head, but funnily enough they're not.) so might take the bus there after sundown. we'll see.

i feel happy whenever i flick through my new moleskine and see it full of tidy colourful hart notes :) <3

there's beauty in the breakdown

hmm. this post became a lot more emo than i intended. whoops.

OH WELL. this is simply one of the most chillingly beautiful songs i've listened to in a while. heard it in the final scene of garden state, one of the many films i watched while up in cambridge :) right now is serious revision time and "let go" has been on repeat (12 plays so far in the last two days). and i'm not sick of it yet. now i just need to find the score somewhere so i can irritate the hell out of my family by constantly playing it on the piano as well.

and in a pathetic effort to procrastinate from studying, i've been gorging myself on love poetry. ginsberg, neruda, yeats and especially master of the orthographically avant-garde (what a mouthful), e.e cummings. here's one of my favourites by him:

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what is is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

words cannot express how much i adore that poem right now; in my hypersensitive, slightly OCD state (induced by revision) i've been reading it over and over again with "let go" as its near-perfect accompaniment. a girl must have her sustenance, and poetry and music are mine at the moment. and that's not being pretentious, there's just genuinely nothing else to eat right now. i ate maple and pecan cereal for lunch because of the severe lack of food in the house...

methinks it's time for a trip to sainsbury's <3

you've got my heart you know

i'm on a blissful, dizzy high

mainly because it's HALF TERM TOMORROW! god i need the holiday so much (although it's going to be spent working >_<)

but also because the best friend and i went shopping today after school :) we came out of oxford st and the first thing we did was do our little ritual and get these. first on the menu. they are PURE ecstasy for your mouth. literally. you bite into the puff and out spills the most delicious vanilla cream...mmmm

then we went to ann summers and tried on kinky roleplay outfits. kidding...or am i? :P katy ended up buying some strawberry body paint. it tasted like milkshake!

next up was MOAR food. (to be honest...if you're surprised by this point, you haven't been reading properly.) a piping hot waffle from next to the station, £1.90. yumyumyum. by this time it had started to snow heavily and we were COVERED in stubbornly regenerating snowflakes - so it was an emergency waffle. totally vital for our survival in the severe weather conditions, trust.

lastly, we took a side trip to carnaby st. to lust after crazed-up colourful wigs and browse hippie tack. i've been planning a london day out for MONTHS, and when i finally get organised enough to DO it i'll be swaaaathed in london merchandise. a union jack jingly hat. matching union jack sweatbands. an "I <3 LONDON" tee. i'll be maniacally flicking a london-themed lighter. hell, i'll even be wearing tube map knickers.

that is how much i love my city.

and that day WILL happen! someday. yeah.

and ahhh, i've rolled back into my humble abode feeling ridiculously happy, because striding through a snowstorm listening to slide with the volume turned WAY UP is one of my new favourite pastimes. oh, and i've juuust started jean-paul sartre's 'nausea' - so i've got that feverishly excited new-book feeling. (just realised how geekish that made me sound...nyaaah). so. not bad as far as days go.

oh god, nearly forgot..."a thing for me"...linking in with the sort-of valentine's day theme for today (since i'm going up to cam this weekend ^_^ and won't have time to post) by metronomy - check out the video, it's insanely cute and makes me want to do karaoke and play pingpong simultaneously.

billions and trillions of <3's for everyone, whether you're single or coupled-up this weekend!

emotion you cannot define

ahhh! i haven't listened to heartbeat in the longest time. although i actually prefer the demo version to the official single. o i am falling head-over-heels in love with its brilliant lo-fi-ness all over again...

today...
-marks the start of french week...shamelessly promoting for mfl society wooHOO, dont je suis follement amoureuse >.<
-all my nails are painted a different colour. pink, acid green, turquoise, sky blue, purple, silver, coral, red, grass green, baby blue...let's just say i had a LOT of free time (on my hands :P) yesterday.
-i love magic stars more than anything else in the world. best chocolate ever. bags baby star.
-i've decided to save up to buy coloured contacts (violet or green...mm)
-i'm quickly brushing up on my dracula knowledge for wednesday's book club.
-i sprinted home in the rain. it was kind of cool because it was totally quiet; there was NO ONE else out but me (because dammit, it was pouring) and a bedraggled black cat who ran alongside me for a couple of minutes. typical me, i accidentally ran straight through a GINORMOUS puddle, and now my trainers are soaked. they're drying next to a radiator now.

oh yeah, the silent rave was mental...15 minutes of complete MADNESS
check out the guy who stripped!!

bisous à tous <3

freedom is mine

ok, so i was feeling good (this is a lovely cover, by the way), until i saw the letter pinned to the fridge...
WHAT?! i'm not allowed out at lunchtimes for the next week (goodbye pret, goodbye eat, goodbye generic eateries that crop up on every street of the square mile). it's all my fault, of course. i'm being punished because i've been late four times this term. in my defence, twice was because of snow delays (ha)...but NNNGH. now i'm actually going to have to make an effort in the mornings and obey my alarm clock when it starts squawking at me at 6.50. yup...a mere five hours after i hit the sack. (OOH...SLEEP DEPRIVATION = FAINTS! hmm...the pieces of the puzzle are slowly slotting into place. i'll get there in the end.) if i don't come into school on tiptop punctual form, i get put on 'early morning report' - where i have to get up at the crack of dawn to be in school by 8.30. oh, the days when i used to WAIT AROUND OUTSIDE school, bouncing up and down, longing for the gates to open at 7.50...


so yeah! anyway, the snow was great :) i love how it reduces EVERYONE to the mental age of about six! i made a snow pingu out of crystalline water with little sis. the garden was gorgeous under its 8-inch thick blanket of snow.


and in other news, i'm trying and failing to make plans for tomorrow night. (i.e...tonight...crap) currently the plan is to go to a silent iPod rave at liverpool st. station at 7pm. something i've always wanted to do, so i'm excited ^_^

we STILL haven't got our mocks timetables *mutters* incompetent teachers. so far i've only found out my poetry exam time (two weeks on monday) so i'm doing serious revision for that. i have plath poetry spilling out of my eyes. have a snippet from "tulips"...

the walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
the tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
and i am aware of my heart; it opens and closes
its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
the water i taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
and comes from a country far away as health.

good night my lovelies, hope you enjoyed the snow. supposedly, there's more on the way <3

feel the heat, oh yeah it burns

i am RIDICULOUSLY excited! and it's all down to this.
there are huge fat flakes falling outside my window, and we've got six inches :D no transport equals no school, so i'm gearing up for what's going to be the MOST epic london snowfight ever ^_^


yeah...experimenting with a new illustrator brushstroke. and this SOTD probably makes for the most oxymoronic blog title ever given the insanely adverse weather conditions, but whatever. listen to/watch around the bend here. it's so 80's it hurts.

i'm not saying trains are just for boys - but if i WERE a boy (cue beyoncé in my head for the rest of the day..hurray...) i'd probably be a TOTAL railway geek. i love trains and walking along old disused railway tracks. really really want to go on the orient express and the shinkansen. i went on the maglev train in shanghai, where magnets are used to suspend the train and whizz it along (apparently, maglev trains can go up to 4000 mph) and got a bizarre thrill out of it. yeah. i think the trainspotting society is missing a member. ME.

had an interesting weekend...most of it spent studying. arrived at a friend's house at half past seven on sunday morning post-party to discover dom cocooned in a duvet. he was TOTALLY passed out from jailbreak (he and his partner got to turin ^_^). so i basically crashed the morning after..nice! another friend cooked me bacon and eggs for breakfast. mmm! there's nothing like a fryup. we went home and spent the day lazing around, half-watching the jungle book. sort of. anyway, the snow screwed with the tubes, so after dropping dom off at king's x my dad picked me up. we had to walk through a blizzard to get to the car...crazy stuff!

MAJOR EXCITEMENT. back to bed for a couple of hours, then up for SNOW WARS. THERE WILL BE BLOOD. <3